Let me ask you something. What do you think it is that ruins a relationship? Cheating? Manipulation? Flirting with other people?
Well, in some cases, yes. But have you ever met a couple who seemed to have a perfect relationship but broke up?
You know that there was no cheating involved, or anything else that we already mentioned above.
When you ask them what the reason for the breakup was, they would probably tell you that it was the little things that accumulated over time.
The little things – the silent killer of every relationship.
Even though we don’t pay much attention to them, they are usually the number one reason why couples decide to walk away from each other.
We can look at it like the way we remove a Band-Aid.
With cheating, it’s fast and painful for a moment.
But with the little things, it’s constant slow pulling and pain that lasts for a longer period of time until you finally make the last pull.
The same way the little things can improve a relationship, they can also ruin it.
They are usually hard to notice because they become part of the routine. You do them unconsciously, without even realizing your mistakes.
If you want to analyze your relationship and save it from falling apart, then keep on reading.
The following signs will help you understand if you or your partner are committing little sins in your relationship through simple, everyday actions.
1. Ignoring problems
We sometimes think that by pretending that something doesn’t exist, we won’t have to deal with it.
Using that philosophy, you have started to ignore problems that occur in your relationship.
No matter how trivial they seem, sweeping things under the rug will never help you get your relationship to a better place.
It can only ruin what you already have.
If you have a problem with the way your partner behaves or if there is an issue that concerns you but you choose to be silent about it, you are setting yourself up for a journey to failure.
Over time, these issues add up and you and your partner start to feel resentment toward each other.
If that happens, you won’t be willing to work on your relationship because it will be too late.
You won’t be happy anymore. Instead, you will feel disgust every time you look at your partner.
So, if you don’t want to ruin your relationship, learn how to say when something is bothering you.
Bottling up issues and feelings does you more harm than good.
2. Keeping quiet when trying to solve an argument
If only one of you is willing to talk and try to solve an argument, then your relationship is in trouble.
Thinking that giving them the silent treatment will magically resolve all of your issues is completely wrong.
Instead of keeping quiet, both you and your partner need to find a way to help you solve the problem.
If one of you is trying to communicate while the other is keeping quiet, you better be sure that it won’t lead you anywhere.
Neither of you is able to see what is going on inside the mind of the other.
So, instead of waiting for your partner to read your mind, you should say out loud what you think is the best way to work out the issue.
If you don’t, you are letting the little things accumulate and you are slowly ruining your relationship.
3. Taking your partner for granted
Once we start taking our partner for granted, we tend to stop showing them love.
So, instead of the attention that they are supposed to get in a relationship, they are left with nothing.
It’s one thing to fully trust your partner and know that he won’t leave you because you two love each other and are willing to work on your issues.
But it’s a whole other thing when you ignore your partner’s needs just because you think that he’ll always be there.
As time passes, your partner will realize that you don’t appreciate him anymore and he will start to look for love in other places.
When this happens, your relationship will be ruined because of the lack of small acts of kindness.
You need to understand that either you or your partner will walk away if you get the feeling that the other person assumes that you’ll always be there.
If you don’t want to ruin your relationship with this, then pay attention to your actions.
Does your partner feel that you’re taking him for granted or are you showing him appreciation daily?
4. Always blaming the other
The infamous blame game! If you want to ruin your relationship then go on, keep playing it.
But if you want to improve it and make it a happier place, then you need to stop immediately!
A relationship isn’t a competition in which one or the other is supposed to win.
No one should win in an argument! Instead, both of you need to work on it if you want to move forward.
Blaming your partner for every issue that occurs in your relationship sends him a sign that he isn’t good enough for you and that there is something wrong with him.
Let’s be honest, how would that make you feel? You wouldn’t be the happiest person in the world, I guess.
So if you are constantly blaming your partner instead of taking responsibility for your part of the problem, the chances are that you are subtly ruining your relationship.
5. Pretending you agree with your partner
Humans always tend to play their cards the easier way.
So, instead of showing our real self and risking that the other person might not agree with us, we decide to play by their rules.
It means that sometimes we pretend that we agree with our partner in order to gain their appreciation or to avoid an argument.
This may seem harmless but trust me when I say that it can ruin your relationship over time.
Okay, today you will agree with him because you are not in the mood to fight.
But in a month’s time, he will say something that will trigger your memory and you will use your actual opinion against him.
You will rub it in his face and you will feel like you’ve achieved something.
You’ve proved him wrong, right? If this constantly happens, your relationship will suffer.
You should never pretend that you agree with something if you don’t. Doing that can only make you bitter, which is never a good thing.
So, instead of pretending, be honest about your opinions and don’t show agreement when you don’t feel that it’s right.
6. Forgetting to communicate the proper way
What is the proper way to communicate? How could you know that? Is it, “My day went like this,” or, “This happened today…”? Well, not exactly.
If your conversations have turned into a pattern where you know exactly what will be said next, you are in danger.
Remember how at the beginning of the relationship, you talked about your dreams and hopes and fears?
Where is that now?
You two have forgotten to communicate the right way and every day feels the same now.
It’s impossible that you’ve learned everything about the person standing next to you.
Get to know them better, listen better, and don’t just wait for your turn to talk.
You will be amazed at how much you still have to learn about your partner.
Communication is always the key and when you forget how to communicate the right way, your relationship is in trouble.
7. Taking it as a joke when your partner is serious
If either of you is doing this, then you are taking small steps that can ruin your relationship.
There is nothing worse than feeling that your partner is not taking you seriously.
Out of all the people in the world, your partner is the person you least expect it from.
Instead of making fun of something that feels like a serious problem to him, you need to show him that you understand him.
When two people are in a relationship, they should always be on the same page. That is the only way it can work.
If either of you feels like you can’t be honest about your feelings or the thoughts that run through your mind, your relationship won’t work.
Being laughed at when it took you the courage to express yourself shows that the person next to you doesn’t take you seriously.
It makes you look like a joke so you retreat inside and avoid further communication.
When little things like this accumulate, your relationship gets ruined without even realizing why or how.
8. Arguing in public
If you want your relationship to work, you should NEVER argue in public or in front of other people. It is forbidden!
By arguing with your partner when other people are present, you make your partner feel attacked, especially if he notices that people take your side.
No matter how angry your partner makes you feel, you should always resolve conflicts when only the two of you are present.
You don’t need an audience for that.
It feels terrible when your partner decides to confront you in front of other people. It’s like you are a child whose mother starts yelling at you.
The uncomfortable feeling which a situation like this causes will never pass and your partner will remember it each time you spend time with the same group of people.
You need to understand that by doing that, you are putting all of the power in your hands while your partner feels irrelevant.
That means that the two of you are not equals in the relationship anymore.
If you have ever argued in public, you need to stop doing it. It ruins your relationship and causes irreparable damage to your partner’s mental health.
9. Forgetting to say sorry, thank you, and I love you
Little things like this matter and it matters even more when you forget to say them.
Words like, “I am sorry,” “Thank you for helping me,” or, “I love you,” may seem irrelevant to use on a daily basis but they mean much more than you think.
“I am sorry,” shows your partner that you are willing to accept responsibility.
“Thank you for helping me,” makes your partner feel appreciated and shows him that he’s not being taken for granted.
“I love you,” means that even if you’ve been together for a long time, you just want him to know that you still love and care for him and that he is your number one.
These words make a relationship feel stronger and they create a bond that is unbreakable.
A lack of them can lead you to ruin your relationship. That’s why you need to remember them and use them as often as possible.
They don’t take a lot of effort but they mean so much!
10. Always forgetting important dates
Even though it seems like a childish sign, you can’t not ask yourself why if your partner constantly keeps forgetting important dates.
Do you mean that little to him if he’s not able to remember your birthday or your anniversary?
Instead of having a person to celebrate with, you are stuck with a person who can’t even remember what date it is.
Little things like this mean so much when you are in a relationship. They are a sign of appreciation and when that is left out, your relationship gets ruined.
11. Comparing your partner to others
Comparing your partner to others feels like walking down the street and yelling, “My partner is not good enough and I need him to change.”
At least that’s how your partner feels about it…
You should never make comments about how you would like him to behave more like this guy or how you would like him to look like that guy.
If you are not happy with him, then why are the two of you even in a relationship?
Instead of appreciating him, you are subtly asking him to change. And trust me, if anything can, that will ruin your relationship.
Pay attention to these little things. They are silent killers and they subtly ruin your relationship if you don’t notice them at the right time!
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