Breaking up with someone who you thought to be your forever person is hard as it is, but then it’s the entire aftermath that can break you even further.
You might want to stay friends with your ex, but he’s acting very cold.
You’re trying to find a way to restore the trust and not throw away everything you had, but it’s quite hard.
You have been asking yourself the same question all over again: Should I really stay friends with my ex? But no answers are given.
That’s why you should pay close attention to these signs that say you shouldn’t stay friends with your ex:
1. If the breakup was extremely hurtful
Every breakup hurts like hell, but what breakup says you shouldn’t stay friends?
The way you break up determines whether you should try a friendship afterward.
If your breakup was hurtful and heartbreaking, you shouldn’t be friends with your ex.
Starting a friendship now will just bring back unnecessary tension and it can never end well.
Someone will get hurt again and you shouldn’t give him a chance to do that.
If he hurt you badly, then he simply isn’t worth being a part of your life again.
2. If you haven’t spent enough time apart
If you’re trying to maintain a friendship with your ex right after you’ve broken up then it won’t end well for either of you.
You have to spend enough time apart from your ex to be able to figure out where you stand with your breakup and how you want to handle it.
If you just head straight into being friends, you are forming a codependence with your partner that is anything but healthy.
Don’t let yourself fall into this trap. Give yourself enough time to heal before even considering staying friends with your ex.
3. If you’re feeling lonely after your breakup
Loneliness is never a good enough reason to stay friends with your ex. It’s not even a good reason to start any type of relationship!
Even when you’re lonely, don’t text your ex to meet up with you. Even if he does want to hang out, just don’t.
I know that it’s the most convenient option; your ex knows you best and he would understand all your feelings.
If you’re feeling lonely, figure out why. Are you too dependent on your ex? Do you want to get back together with him?
4. If boundaries weren’t set or respected
Boundaries are extremely important in order to establish what parts of your life your ex doesn’t get to comment on or meddle in.
What do I mean by this?
Well, for example, if you started dating someone else and your ex meddles in your decision or he continues to comment on your friends.
If you set any type of boundaries and he doesn’t respect them, it’s a clear sign that you shouldn’t stay friends. He doesn’t know his place.
Everyone checks the social media accounts of their friends, right? Well, if that friend is your ex, it goes much deeper.
Liking posts that come up on your news feed isn’t a problem, but going out of your way to check what he has been posting is a problem.
You’re making sure where he is, what he’s doing and so on. Why? So you know that he’s doing better without you?
I don’t know the reasons behind your behavior, you’re the only one who does.
But checking his social media is very obsessive behavior and you shouldn’t stay friends if you keep on checking up on him.
6. If you talk too much about your past relationship
You and your ex might have tried to stay friends, but you have started to notice that you’ve been talking a lot about your relationship.
Nostalgia is normal and you should treasure your memories of your time spent together, but don’t make the mistake of staying friends with someone who can’t let go of the past they had with you.
If he keeps on bringing up the past, it’s best to leave that friendship immediately. You’re trying to move on and he keeps on bringing it up.
Don’t let this get to you, it’s his way of reliving everything you two went through, but it’s toxic behavior. You aren’t meant to stay friends.
7. If you still flirt with each other
We both know how much fun flirting actually is. He makes you feel wanted, needed, and extremely beautiful.
But to be honest, flirting always has an intention behind it, even if you just think that it’s fun.
You both can’t get out of the habit of flirting and it’s dangerous. At what point does it seem genuine?
When will the line be crossed and you will start taking his flirting as something serious?
Flirting can just open up wounds that you didn’t even know existed.
This is not a healthy friendship and his behavior shows that he wants to trigger buried emotions.
You can talk to him about it, but if he doesn’t stop, your friendship is doomed to fail.
8. If you’re still attracted to each other
When you’re still physically attracted to an ex-partner, your entire friendship won’t last long before you fall into the trap of physical pleasure.
This might lead to a ‘friends with benefits’ relationship and if you’ve seen the movie, you will know where that ends.
Do you really want to catch feelings for your ex again?
I doubt that because you must have broken up for a reason. It doesn’t matter how great of a kisser he is, you broke up for a reason.
Being physically attracted to any friend means you’re doomed, especially if it’s an ex.
9. If you still have feelings for each other
If you two still have feelings for each other, how is your friendship going to work?
I would love to tell you that your feelings will disappear with time, but I’d be lying to you.
You can’t really move on with your ex constantly being around. I know that it seems easier, because you want to keep seeing him, but it’s not healthy.
Your entire healing process will take much longer. You deserve better than that.
10. If you fantasize about getting back together
Getting back with your ex is never the best option and you know it. You shouldn’t want your ex back.
As I said before, you broke up for a reason. Having him in your life as a friend won’t let you move on.
Imagining a future together while you still cling to the past memories isn’t good for either of you.
Also, if he continues to stay friends with you, not wanting to be together but thriving on the fact that you still want to get back together, he’s not the one.
You should make it easier for the both of you, even though I know that it’s hard to separate yourself from someone you want to spend forever with.
11. If your new partner doesn’t feel comfortable with you two hanging out
If your new partner doesn’t like the fact that you and your ex are still close friends, to be honest, you should understand his perspective.
He doesn’t feel secure enough in the relationship and it shows that you and your ex might be just a little too close for his liking.
Your new partner feels like you might want to go back to him.
If you want your new relationship to last, you won’t let your new partner doubt you.
You won’t stay friends with your ex over the chance of a new beginning.