Being appreciated and respected by our friends, family, work colleagues, and boss brings so much joy that a lack of it makes us miserable.
To be honest, not all of us know what to do in order to be appreciated or respected. So what happens?
We become miserable because we give more than what we receive and we don’t understand others’ perspectives on us at all.
It’s good to know that you are not the only person struggling with this, as there’s a whole lot of people going through the same thing.
It’s hard for all of us and maybe someone very close to you is trying to gain your respect as well. Who knows?
You have seen the signs that your friend doesn’t respect you and you’ve asked yourself how you can change that, so we’re here to help!
Let’s figure this out together.
1. Practice self-respect
If you don’t respect yourself, how can you expect someone else to respect you? It’s that simple.
For example, boundaries are a great start. Define your boundaries.
This will bring you a sense of responsibility for the way you express your emotions and for the things that you deem to be acceptable.
You have to set boundaries to be sure what you’re ready to tolerate from the people around you.
Be vocal about them and show everyone around you that you are not ready to put up with certain things anymore.
2. Realize that being selfish isn’t a bad thing
We are brought up to believe that there is no sin greater than selfishness. But that’s a mistake.
Selfishness is what makes us take things instead of constantly give without wanting anything in return.
When you feel like the world is ending and you’re scared to call someone for help, because you might come off as selfish, you are instantly showing people that you don’t need them to be there for you.
Yes, independence is a good thing, but it’s completely normal to depend on people from time to time and you are allowed to ask for help.
Let’s be honest, you’re always there for them.
3. Keep your promises
Keeping your promises is a huge deal. It shows your friends that you are a trustworthy person and that you won’t leave them hanging.
If you’re someone who breaks their promises more often than not, how can you expect someone to trust you?
Trust isn’t built overnight, but if you keep your promises and show your friends how much you’re trying, then I assure you they will respect you more.
4. Learn how to say no
Instead of breaking promises, why don’t you say, “No,” right away? Why do you put yourself in a position where people can exploit your kindness?
You can always say no.
When people see that they can’t mistreat you, they will start to respect you because you respect yourself enough to think of yourself first.
Learn how to say no and you will immediately see who your real friends are.
5. Stop apologizing
If you’re not at fault then you shouldn’t be the one to apologize. Ever! Especially about things that are not under your control.
Stop apologizing for the way you feel. Stop apologizing for your appearance. People make us feel like we’re the one at fault for these things, but we’re not.
Stop apologizing for needing time for yourself. You shouldn’t be the one always available for everyone.
When you stop apologizing for these things, people will appreciate you more for your honesty and will know that they can’t exploit you anymore.
6. Stop gossiping
This goes without saying, but all of us need a reminder sometimes. Gossiping is a very bad habit that many of us are guilty of.
Getting rid of it might be a struggle, but try for your friends.
How do they feel when they find out that you have been talking about them behind their back?
Or how do they feel when you tell them things someone else said in confidence?
Don’t let them believe that they can’t trust you and that they have to keep secrets from you because you’re a blabbermouth.
7. Stand up for people in need
This takes a lot of courage, especially if you’re usually the shy type who doesn’t like confrontation.
Make the decision to stand up for someone who’s being bullied or in need of support in a difficult situation, and you’ll automatically be more respected.
You will be seen as a friend who is not afraid to stand by them and help them when times are tough.
8. Speak up if you’re mistreated
This is quite a huge one when you consider that most of us run away from confrontation.
It’s often easier to move through life by never speaking up. We tend to stay silent when we’re mistreated and just deal with it on our own.
In this way, a friendship can easily be broken.
You just have to be aware of the fact that if they stick around because they can abuse you and mistreat you, then they don’t deserve your respect.
You have to be able to be your own friend first. Don’t forget that they can’t respect you if you can’t respect yourself.
9. Don’t take your friends for granted
Respect and appreciation go both ways. Show appreciation for your friends through small gestures and show them that they are a crucial part of your life.
Don’t take them for granted, but rather make sure that they always know how important they are in your life.
Stand up for them when they need you and be there for them. Of course, know the limit between being exploited and being there for them.
Just don’t forget that they need clear signs that you are just as invested in the friendship as they are.
10. Have an open mind
Not everyone will think the same way you do. Not everyone has the same set of opinions.
People are different and that is what makes us so unique. You should love your friends for all the things that make them stand out.
To be honest, there are times when we simply don’t understand where our friends are coming from or why they do certain things.
But we should keep an open mind and never accuse them of something before we know the whole story.
Try and understand your friends, ask questions, and let them help you see things from their point of view.
They will certainly appreciate you if they know that you won’t judge them for their actions.
11. Know that you can’t please everyone
At the end of the day, you can’t please everyone and this is a hard lesson to learn.
People will walk out of your life and you won’t have any type of control over who stays, no matter how hard you try.
That’s why you have to respect yourself first. Know that the people who are meant to stay will stay.
You will be letting yourself down if you degrade yourself to please others.
People need to earn appreciation and respect, of course, but you don’t have to bend over backward for anyone.
You simply can’t please everyone and that’s all right.