When you meet someone and fall endlessly in love with them, the red flags stop seeming so red.
The red flags you would usually catch on to right away are hidden in all the love you feel for him.
However, something doesn’t feel right. All the love in this world doesn’t seem to be able to change him for the better.
He makes you feel bad. He makes you feel undeserving of basic human decency and you catch yourself in self-deprecating thoughts.
You haven’t been like this before so could he really be the reason behind all of this? Is your boyfriend so toxic that he drains all your energy like this?
If you find that any of these signs apply to your boyfriend, I am sorry to tell you that he truly is toxic and that you should run for the hills. Before it’s too late.
1. He’s extremely self-absorbed
There is a difference between being confident and being self-absorbed. Someone who’s confident doesn’t act like that.
He’s so preoccupied with his own interests, feelings, and life in general that he doesn’t even have time to talk about your life.
In the beginning, you thought of it as adorable. You had never met a man who shared so much of himself with you!
After a while, it started getting annoying because you can never get a word in and everything is always about him.
Even when you’re out together with your friends, he doesn’t seem to shut up.
He always has a story to tell and everyone is getting really frustrated with him.
2. Your life never seems interesting enough
Not only does he never give you space to talk, but when you do have a chance to say something, he puts you down.
He always says that your stories are boring or that you sound depressing when you speak.
Your life doesn’t seem interesting enough to occupy his attention and he makes sure you know it. He won’t listen to you no matter what.
Even when he does seem like he’s listening, he’ll just jump back to an experience he went through.
A toxic boyfriend will always find a way to undermine your feelings and put himself back into the spotlight.
3. You catch him lying
Trust should be the foundation of every relationship. So why are you catching him lying so often?
You ask him questions that you already know the answers to, just to make sure that he’s being truthful. But he’s not.
Or, for example, if you have ever heard one story from him and another from a friend, someone must be lying.
If your boyfriend isn’t being truthful and honest, then you can’t guarantee that he will ever change. You can’t take his word for it.
4. He doesn’t know the difference between being honest and being hurtful
When you ask for an opinion, you’re not looking for a critique that’ll shatter your confidence to its core.
You’re looking for feedback. However, rather than that, he’ll hurt your feelings because he knows what words to use to get to you.
This isn’t something that someone who genuinely loves you would do.
Someone who actually cares about you would tell you the truth without being hurtful.
Toxic people thrive on the fact that they can make you feel bad. “That’s just the truth. It’s called being honest.” No, what it is, is being a nasty person.
5. He’s very controlling and possessive
Having a boyfriend who’s just a little bit jealous can even be considered as cute.
On the other hand, a possessive and controlling man is anything but adorable.
Whenever you’re out with your friends, he makes a huge deal about it, telling you that if you loved him, you would be spending time with him.
He doesn’t allow you to talk to your male friends because, as he said, they’re all making a move on you.
He’s also trying to control whom you can and can’t speak to at work!
That is a huge red flag that the man you’re dating is being a possessive and toxic freak who you should stay away from.
6. He attacks your personality rather than the issue
I once heard that in a relationship, it’s the two of you against the problem, not you two against each other.
When you’re facing a problem in your relationship, it can be quite hard to see straight.
However, you should never attack each other; rather, try tackling the issue at hand.
Your boyfriend is toxic if he refuses to find a solution for the problem but loves to put all the blame on you.
He attacks your personality when you fight over anything, saying that you’re always overreacting or that you’re so annoying.
He says very hurtful things that won’t help you solve the issue, but only make you feel so bad that you let go of the problem.
7. He compares you to other girls
If anything is a clear sign that your man is toxic, then it’s this one. Comparing you to other girls is his way of controlling you.
You’re made to believe that you will never be good enough for him.
He always wants you to be more this or less that – just like some girl he saw on the street or online.
Let me be the first one to tell you that you are enough and you are beautiful just the way you are.
Don’t let anyone, especially not a man, tell you otherwise.
8. He’s disrespectful to the people you love
These people are important to you for a reason and he seems to ignore that!
He is a toxic boyfriend if he continues to gossip and say rude things about them or to them.
Even if he doesn’t get along with someone you’re very close to, he shouldn’t be able to talk badly about them so freely.
His intention is to make you believe his words and walk away from them.
This is especially true if those people tried to tell you that he’s bad news. He’ll do anything just to turn you against them.
9. He always plays the victim
It’s never his fault. If that doesn’t scream toxic, then I don’t know what does.
It’s never his fault and somehow, everyone else is trying to set him up or the universe doesn’t work in his favor.
If you catch him lying or cheating, he’ll just turn the story around so that it doesn’t seem like it’s his fault.
You have to stop making excuses for him and call him out on the things you know he did. Because he is nothing but an extremely toxic man.
10. He gaslights you
This is dangerous. If you think that your boyfriend is gaslighting you, pack your bags and run.
When someone is gaslighting you, you might actually feel like you’re losing your mind.
It’ll start off with little things, like when you were sure you put your shoes in one spot but you found them somewhere else.
When you ask him what happened, he’ll tell you that you must have forgotten.
This will go on until he starts gaslighting you about huge things, where you’ll think that you’re actually losing your mind.
You don’t deserve a man like this. You deserve someone honest, loving, and caring. He is nothing more than a man you should run away from.
I know that you love him, but love yourself more.