Breakups are never fun, to say the least. They leave you emotional, hurt, and confused.
You thought that you and your ex would spend the rest of your lives together, but it’s over and you don’t know what to do.
However, even though it’s over, you still want to reach out to him and talk things through with him.
There can be many reasons why you want to talk to him, but the most common one is that you want him to come back.
You want to talk to him to show him what he’s missing, to show him that you have moved on, or to simply hurt him just as much as he hurt you.
Whatever the possible reason, he only sees these things as reasons to never come back to you afterward.
These are all the things you should never say to your ex if you want him to come back to you:
1. “Can we stay friends?”
He was your best friend at one point. He was someone you found safety and security in. Why would you let him walk away?
I know that you want him to stay in your life, even just as a friend. Not having him around would just hurt too much.
Asking him to stay friends is only asking for trouble. You don’t know what you’re signing up for.
He will tell you about his failed dates and about the new girl he likes. This will frustrate you at some point.
However, having him only as a friend means that he won’t have the space needed to start missing you.
He can’t miss you if you’re still friends. If you refuse to stay friends with him, he will get to a point where he realizes how much you mean to him.
Don’t ever tell a man that you want to stay friends with him if you want him to regret breaking up with you.
2. “I still love you.”
Telling your ex you still love him won’t get him back, no matter who the dumper was.
When you tell him that you still love him, even after everything that happened, he now knows that he can have you whenever he wants to.
You are showing too much interest in him and it can only drive him further away from you.
Your lack of interest will be the key to getting him back. That’s why instead of telling him that you still love him, you need to be indifferent.
3. “It’s all your fault!”
How are you supposed to get your ex back if you’re telling him things like this?
If you put all the blame on him for your problems, he’ll only remember the bad aspects of your relationship.
He won’t want to come back to you and he will just put more distance between you both.
You want to be the one in control of this situation, but by telling him that it was all his fault, you’re giving him all the more reason to walk away forever.
Even if you do get to a point where you can talk openly about your relationship, take responsibility for your actions.
Realize what you did wrong and what he did wrong. Know that it’s not just one person at fault.
4. “I met someone better than you.”
Going out of your way to make your ex jealous will only make him angry.
You won’t get the desired response from him if you just straight-up tell him that you have found someone new.
Yes, a certain amount of jealousy is healthy and it’ll motivate him to come back to you. However, you have to do this in a way that’s not obvious.
If he hears from your mutual friends that you’re dating again, it’ll jolt him into action.
On the other hand, telling him that you have found someone better than him will only make you seem petty.
5. “I never loved you anyway!”
Then why were you with him in the first place?
If you tell him this in an angry fit, he’ll know that it’s just you being petty and desperate to get a reaction from him.
Don’t take your anger out on him because he doesn’t have to know how much of an effect he has on you.
Even if he abandoned you, this isn’t a reason for you to throw all your feelings at him like that. Don’t give him that power over your life.
6. “I pity the next girl who falls for you!”
Sentences like these are clear signs of the impact he had on you, especially if you contact him while he’s dating someone new, because your jealousy will be apparent.
I know your words say one thing, but he will see right through the facade. Also, why would he come back to a girl who thinks so lowly of him?
7. “You need therapy.”
This is more of a moral thing than it is a tactic to get him back. I have heard so many girls say this to men who have broken up with them.
These girls say things like this in order to hurt the man, because they think that he’s selfish and narcissistic for leaving them.
You can’t just tell someone they need therapy for the way they made you feel.
Mental health isn’t a joke and it certainly shouldn’t be used as a defense mechanism when you’re angry.
8. “Please take me back!”
Any type of pleading and begging is off the table! Please remember this and do NOT make this mistake with your ex.
Asking him to give you another chance, promising that you’ll change if he takes you back and so on won’t help you.
You have to look like a woman who knows her own worth.
You have to know that you deserve to be treated like a queen. It’s his job to please you and to plead with you to take him back.
If he isn’t able to see that, you shouldn’t even want him back.
However, in the long run, a man wants a strong and confident woman. Pleading and begging won’t give him that impression of you.
9. “Don’t ever speak to me again!”
Do you really mean this? If you want him to come back to you at some point, this isn’t something you should tell him.
Of course, you and your ex need some time apart and radio silence will be beneficial for the both of you.
However, telling him to never speak to you again will only encourage him to actually listen to you.
Instead, tell him that time apart is a great idea and encourage it in a different way. Don’t just lash out.
10. Any type of messages during no contact
When you don’t hear from your ex for a long period of time, it might feel like it’s officially over.
You will feel lonely and your chest will hurt even more than before, because the truth will be so obvious.
However, let it happen. Let the no contact period be drawn out for as long as it needs. He will contact you, I can promise you that.
Don’t be the first one to contact him, even if it’s a simple, “Happy Birthday,” message.
Otherwise, you’ll make him realize that you are always thinking about him.
It isn’t going to help. You need to have control over this situation. He’s going to come back to you when he sees that you are a strong and gorgeous woman.
Always be aware of your own worth, because no man out there deserves to have you on your knees, begging him to come back.
You deserve a man who won’t ever let go of you and not someone who will play games with you.